Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Do you have a hard time finding like minded female friends? Im just curious, because I dont have any. When others find out I have snakes they all get weird on me.Of course it doesnt help that Im 40yo and most "moms" are doing the quilting,cooking,kid thing. I have 4 boys of my own and a hubby so I have plenty of male company but I wouldnt mind finding a female friend that would at least tolerate reptiles although it would be fun to have one that actually liked them. We live in a very backward, small town in the middle of KS so most people just kill snakes out here...Has anyone else ran into this kind of thing?
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2.0 Ball Pythons (Titus and Hercules)
1.0 Western Hognose (Fuego)
1.1 cornsnakes (Asmodeus and Strawberry)
0.2 Bearded dragons (itchy and scratchy)
0.1 Rosehair T. (Jigglypuff)
1.0 dog BC..(Kippy)
2.1 cats (Thomas,Sunflower,Diablo(Boo))
0.0.1 Toad (squidward)

Well, I'm still in my mid teens so I can't relate well, but I do understand that the most obvious sex keeping herps are..well guys
especially in states with lower populations of working women.

However, I found in some states such as California, there are a ton of women herpers, most of them started with snakes.. and still keep a fascination with the legless fiends, with a smaller amount getting into lizards.. though Torts and Turtles seem to be popular

In any case, I can imagine it'd be tough to find women with the same set of mind, but if you find any clubs or societies in your area, it's quite likely you'll find more than a few.
Good luck, and have fun with your herps
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2.4.1 Leos
1.1.13(eggs) Beardie
1.0 Burm
0.1 Common Boa
1.0 Bp (Turns out, it's a 2nd burmese)

Scratch that, read the Question wrong.. I feel stupid, that's what I get for sneaking into Kingsnake while in web design class..
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2.4.1 Leos
1.1.13(eggs) Beardie
1.0 Burm
0.1 Common Boa
1.0 Bp (Turns out, it's a 2nd burmese)

Same here. I'm 31, and don't really know any women locally in the hobby. My friends don't understand, coworkers don't understand, dad keeps pressuring me to have kids and figures that's out with all the time I spend with my animals, boyfriend understands and is supportive and mom kind of understands - just doesn't understand 'why I have to have so many'. I volunteer every weekend at the zoo, so at least there I'm around fellow animal lovers...but most are into mammals more than herps. There is one guy I volunteer with that I get to enjoy talking herps with. As a matter of fact, most people I know aren't into animals much - so I greatly look forward to the forums and being at the zoo. I'll admit, it can get lonely sometimes wishing I had a girlfriend that lived nearby and was as into herps (particularly snakes) as I am. Because I've gotten so into animals (herps specifically), I don't really spend much time with friends because they don't understand and really don't share my passion as much - leaving little else to talk about. They're more into going to bars, clubs or spending time with their kids (I don't have any kids so there's another difference), etc. If I had time I'd join our local herp society, but for now I get my fix on the forums, at the zoo, reading on my own, spending time with my animals and going to our monthly reptile show - it's really great to go somewhere that you know you are not alone and I enjoy talking to all the breeders, etc.
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Check Out My Albums

1.0 Ball Python "Aragorn"
1.0 Kenyan Sand Boa "Gimli"
1.0 Saharan Sand Boa "Frodo"
0.1 Rough-Scale Sand Boa "Arwen"
1.0 San Felipe Rosy Boa "Legalos"
0.1 California Kingsnake "Gentoo"
1.0 Mexican Black Kingsnake "Indigo"
1.0 Snow Corn snake "Chile"
0.0.1 Crested Gecko
0.0.1 Irian Jaya BlueTongued Skink
0.1 Australian Cattle Dog/Pointer "Kira"

Actually, yeah, I feel the same way sometimes. I live in a small town in S.UT, and most of the women my age (mid twenties) are settled down, having kids, cooking, cleaning and doing "normal" hobbies... like scrapbooking and knitting. My husband and I don't want children, except for the furry and scaley kind. I enjoy going out into the desert and finding animal skulls, and looking for snakes and lizards... and I have yet to find another woman locally that enjoys the same thing. Most of the time when I talk about my hobbies, people just wrinkle up their noses and say "ew."
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Photo Gallery

At the time of getting my first snake I was with my girlfriend a little bit over a year (i'm 20, shes 19.) She was grown up in a "backwoods" type family...kill anything that doesnt have legs, and kill most other things that have legs. I somehow was able to get her to like them...dont ask how. She loves my licorice stick, hasnt met any other ones. I moved back home for this year so we're about 100 miles apart and my collection has grown from 1 to 5, but she always wants to see the pictures. Then i've just been talking to other girls at school and such and they ALL have the initial response...EWWW I HATE SNAKES!!! Then after I talk to them for a few they get interested...maybe its the age?

Honestly my reccomendation is if you find some female you like date her for a little then let her meet your snakes, if she likes you enough she'll tolerate your snakes and if you work it right you could get her to enjoy their company.

Just an idea.
-Chris
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The reason mainstream thought is thought of as a stream is because it's so shallow. -George Carlin

Battling ignorance one stupid person at a time.

Current snakes:
0.1 Licorice Stick Black Rat (Lola)
1.0 Neonate Black Rat (het for Lic Stk's) (Frankie)
1.1 Texas Bairds (Jose and Rosa)
0.1 Blue Beauty (Brunhilde)

Honestly my reccomendation is if you find some female you like date her for a little then let her meet your snakes, if she likes you enough she'll tolerate your snakes and if you work it right you could get her to enjoy their company.

LOL - we're speaking as women who have a hard time finding fellow women (as friends) to share the hobby with (who keep herps themselves, etc).....not guys looking for girlfriends who are into herps.
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Check Out My Albums

1.0 Ball Python "Aragorn"
1.0 Kenyan Sand Boa "Gimli"
1.0 Saharan Sand Boa "Frodo"
0.1 Rough-Scale Sand Boa "Arwen"
1.0 San Felipe Rosy Boa "Legalos"
0.1 California Kingsnake "Gentoo"
1.0 Mexican Black Kingsnake "Indigo"
1.0 Snow Corn snake "Chile"
0.0.1 Crested Gecko
0.0.1 Irian Jaya BlueTongued Skink
0.1 Australian Cattle Dog/Pointer "Kira"

I cant imagine myself "dating a woman" Hee... As Im married,"to a man"..But thanks for the reply non the less...
I do like the way this thread is going. Its nice to know Im not the only woman out there who likes reptiles..Ive also run into the demonic snake theory..I am not sure why people associate snakes with devil worship. Must have to do with the possessed serpent in the Adam and Eve story, Nevermind that God supposedly created the snake in the first place. I had one woman who said cats were "of the devil" whatever that meant...
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2.0 Ball Pythons (Titus and Hercules)
1.0 Western Hognose (Fuego)
1.1 cornsnakes (Asmodeus and Strawberry)
0.2 Bearded dragons (itchy and scratchy)
0.1 Rosehair T. (Jigglypuff)
1.0 dog BC..(Kippy)
2.1 cats (Thomas,Sunflower,Diablo(Boo))
0.0.1 Toad (squidward)

Yep, the whole snakes are evil thing comes from Adam & Even and the whole temptation thing in the Garden of Eden. Of course, my reply to her was that God created all creatures and doesn't hate his creations. Then I made it pretty clear the conversation was over. Geesh...and she thinks I'M the weird one! lol The whole cat/devil thing harkens to witchcraft where cats were believe to be familiars of Satan & witches. Yeah, I'm into the old stories about ghosts, witches, & goblins.

Raven

in a minute actually.
i was talkin to this guy at work whose a pastor at a local church and he was telling me how snakes arent evil within themself, that there was one snake who had been posesed by the devil and he even preaches in his church that a snake is not an evil being. It's quite interesting how some people can read it and say all snakes are evil vs someone who can look a little depeer into it.
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The reason mainstream thought is thought of as a stream is because it's so shallow. -George Carlin

Battling ignorance one stupid person at a time.

Current snakes:
0.1 Licorice Stick Black Rat (Lola)
1.0 Neonate Black Rat (het for Lic Stk's) (Frankie)
1.1 Texas Bairds (Jose and Rosa)
0.1 Blue Beauty (Brunhilde)

No need to shut up - I just thought it was funny.

I know what you mean....a girl at work told me she grew up believing all snakes were evil. I told her (don't know why I had to) to think about it - the devil took the form of a snake and 'tricked' Eve...it wasn't the snake, but the devil who took the form of something he knew she'd trust. So many people don't think that through and just take it literally.
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Check Out My Albums

1.0 Ball Python "Aragorn"
1.0 Kenyan Sand Boa "Gimli"
1.0 Saharan Sand Boa "Frodo"
0.1 Rough-Scale Sand Boa "Arwen"
1.0 San Felipe Rosy Boa "Legalos"
0.1 California Kingsnake "Gentoo"
1.0 Mexican Black Kingsnake "Indigo"
1.0 Snow Corn snake "Chile"
0.0.1 Crested Gecko
0.0.1 Irian Jaya BlueTongued Skink
0.1 Australian Cattle Dog/Pointer "Kira"

OK.. im hispanic. when i first got my snake a few years back you wouldnt believe the reaction some of my family members gave me. Coming from mexico they are so superstitious as you can imagine. My granmother and aunts were telling ME ,THE SNAKE OWNER, about my snake.LOLOLOL. they said that all snakes were the devil and that all snakes in the world are poisoness and eat babies ... LOLOLOL ..They also said to keep it away because it could see if peoples souls where holy and even and steal them. HAHAHA. I told them no my snake isnt poisoness and no it wont eat your babies or steal your soul, and they were telling me nope youre wrong. It was so funny . Theyve gotton used to it since. Funny though. LOL

Maybe Im just lucky, but i have had alot of luck find lady herpers in colorado. Maybe its because i onced worked at a stupid big petstore. It was about 90% Ladies and 10% guys that worked there and about 80% of the ladies loved all reptiles, but mainly snakes. I found a good friend of mine now about a year ago. We hung out alot so all of our animals hang out at one house. he he he. Im telling yea once you have found a good friend the animal list gets bigger and bigger and bigger!!
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YOUR LORD AND MASTER. . . . FOAMY
Join the Foamy Card Cult

I know exactly where you are coming from. My best friend is also into snakes...in fact, that's one of the main reasons why she & I hit it off in the first place (the other is we both have Harleys - talk about another 'anti-woman' stigma). At best I'm considered 'odd', 'weird', or 'eccentric' (at least the latter sounds better! lol) but the worst I've had so far was someone implying I was into the occult/Satanism because I had snakes. Granted that particular female co-worker is a bit 'out there' religiously, but she's been the worst reaction so far. Slowly it is becoming a more accepted hobby, but for those of us in small towns, change - like many things - is a slow process. I'm just glad there's places like this where I can come visit with like-minded people.

Raven

You gals keep your chins up, and keep on enjoying the hobby!
Hey, it wasn't so long ago, most of us men were hiding our collection in the basement and maintaining secrecy, so the neighbors wouldn't find out what we were harboring indoors.
Before all of you know it, there will be more women then men keeping reptiles, and you gals will be the "retro" crowd which started the trend.

Keep up the great work..

Jeff

Alot of girls at my school like snakes, they just dont keep them or know anything about them. Some of the girls don't really like the snakes at first, but then will end up petting them and handling them(My school has a couple snakes which the kids take care of). There was only one kid in my class that would not go near the snakes, and that wasn't even a girl, it was one of the "cool" guys.
A couple of my girl friends want snakes, but due to paranoid parents, or the thought of having to feed it mice, they remain snakeless.

I never thought of myself as a reptile person. Then when my parents both died, about 2-3 years apart, I wanted something else to come home to besides the dogs and cats. I have been hooked ever since!
I just love my snakes and now I have 2 anoles from my friend who is into reptiles. I work at a boarding kennel, (mostly dogs and cats but we board any kind of pet), and the people in the back like to hear about my snakes but the girls in the front office can not stand them. They are like.."How can you have snakes!"
I don't have to many people around me interested in my snakes. Even my sister, who we share the house, could take them or leave them.
The only person who shows any real interest is my friend 2 hours away, we are both in our 40's. She used to have a corn snake years ago but is now into anoles and frogs.

My little zoo:
1 jungle carpet python
1 ghost corn
1 amel corn
1 tangering honduran milk
1 new baby albino sonoron gopher
2 bahama anoles
2 dogs
4 cats
and baby sitting 1 dart frog.

None of my female friends have ever really liked snakes. I did have a friend years ago that was interested in frogs and that was about as close as I've gotten to having a herp friend. I've dated one person in the past 20 years or so that was interested in animals (my husband tolerates the snakes, they were here before he was). I've gotten tired of going to shows by myself because part of my enjoyment is sharing seeing all the neat critters with someone else. My mother accepts my snakes (kind of like she accepted my tattoos) but my father has always hated them. I am really glad to have found the various on-line forums because at least now I know I'm not alone in my interest and can discuss my critters with people who don't go "well I'm never coming to your house!".
Lora

When I told the girls at work about the kingsnake laying eggs (which of course I was totally excited about), I thought they were going to pass out from shock. It's a bummer, because I can't talk about it with them...I just stopped talking about my snakes at work because they all think I'm strange, even the guys!
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Lisa

0.0.1 50/50 California Kingsnake
0.0.1 Arizona Mountain Kingsnake
0.0.2 W/C Kingsnake Eggs (due to hatch around 10/8/04)

I'm a 40-something herp-woman yankee who's been transplanted to the bible belt. I had a co-worker spread the word that I'm a "satan-worshipper" because "she raises them snakes". Needless to say, I don't discuss religion at work--only snakes.

However, I entered a pet store a couple of years ago and chanced to meet a kindred spirit about my age--she's a transplant who raises boa constrictors. We've been friends ever since. Husbands, kids, and other assorted creatures are in the snake talk, but it's awesome to have someone who understands that you missed the PTA meeting because your first clutch of bull snake eggs were hatching.

As a teacher, I've had several moms who've become herp-likers since getting a snake for their children. They aren't overly zealous, but they're interested enough to want to learn about the critters they end up taking care of. One mom has become very attached to "Arnold", her son's corn snake, and is wondering if he needs "female companionship"--this lady has potential to become a herp friend.

And, of course there are female herpers to correspond with here on Kingsnake--thank you ladies (and guys) for sharing the addiction, affliction, and passion!
regards,
althea

Over 50 here. I live on the Texas, New Mexico border and after my divorce many years ago I got several snakes, and mice, and once I started dating again I thought that I'd be a guy magnet once they found out I owned such critters. HA!!!!! I've never seen so many whimps before in my life. Geesh. Actually I've run across more women than men who like them and that still amazes me. Unfortunately we aren't close enough to do reptile things, and most don't even own any. This area is the pits as far as snakey things go. No shows or anything. So I come to the forums for company. I'm glad ya all are out there.

Oh yeah... there is one thing that I enjoy about people who don't like snakes... or who are afraid of them... and that is when I convince them to touch one and they are all tense and hesistant as they reluctantly allow their finger to investigate... and as soon as they feel it, their eyes light up and they relax and say, "hey it's not slimmy". Now, that's cool.

This was a good thread....
MissHisssss

I'm going on 20 and instead of college or something special like that I breed snakes. I am also getting my real estate license. As for friends in the snake area they are all guys though my closest male friend's wife and I are close. She helps with his snakes but is not particularly fond of them. I just deal with it and anyone who isn't afraid of my snakes, male or female, is a welcome friend. I can't stand when people run away or scream or cringe because I've got a snake the size of a big earthworm on my arm. *sigh* Oh well a friend is a friend whether they share your hobby or not. Thanks,
Sera
S and M Reptiles

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5.7 ball pythons (7 normal, 3 het albino, 2 het axanthic)
1.2 king snakes (1 chocolate, 2 albino)
1.1 columbian red tail boas
1.1 pueblan milksnakes
2.2 african house snakes
2.1 striped albino gophers
1.0 watersnake
1.2 burmese pythons (1 albino, 2 hets)
2.1 pygmy rattlesnakes
1.1 dumeril's boas
3.3 corns (miami, okatee, snow, caramel, 2 creamsicle)
1.1 jungle corns
0.2 ferrets
0.2 degus
0.1 salcotta tortoise
1.2 mice
1.1 rats
0.0.1 human on the way

I was going to give an in-depth answer, but as I kept typing, I realized that I have no desire to have a woman friend, period, I don't care if she likes snakes or not.

Though, I would say that out of all the hundreds of people I've met through my local herp society, there are only 2 girls I've met that sincerely loves snakes as much as I do. So, while I wouldn't search them out myself, I could understand how it must be hard for those women who want to find other women that enjoy this hobby.
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colubridlady@gmail.com

3.3 adult cornsnakes
1.4.8 baby cornsnakes
8 cornsnake eggs