You may need to leave it alone for a week or so but not until it's an adult! I think you may have misunderstood someone. You will want to hold your dragon often, once it's used to it's new home. That is the only way to calm down a dragon. Daily handling is a must. Every time you put your hand in the cage, whether it's to feed, clean, what ever, touch / move your dragon. That will in time, let it know that you don't mean any harm.
I am not one who believes in hand feeding. I think you are asking for an accidental bite down the road. Also, I have heard of dragons who become dependant on hand feeding,,, that is one task I would not want to have to do every day for 6 - 8 years!
As for sexing. Here is a link to the Dachiu's site. They have a great photo showing what you are looking for when sexing.
You didn't mention the age? Dragons under 6 weeks can be very hard to tell, & some are still hard past 9 weeks. One thing I have found that helps is to twist the tail back & forth when holding it up. Not hard or far, just enough to get a little movement at the base. This helps (I think) some blood flow into the hemipenis if it's a male so it's easier to see, especially in youngsters.
Here is the link. Check out the rest of their site while your there. Lots of good info. www.beautifuldragons.com is another site that is a must!
Dachiu's sexing page
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Joel R
Coming some day.
www.SpikesAndScales.com