New York City, Empire State Building, 8:00 PM
Visitors to this historic landmark had quite a suprise today. The building was off limits, marked off by yellow tape and surrounded by broken glass. The official story was that the building was closed for renovation, but we here at the True Times Gazette got the real story.
It appears that early last night, expert witnesses reported seeing a huge, reptillain shape climbing up the tall tower. The police were notified, and it was soon determined that the building was being scaled by a gigantic leopard gecko. The creature eemed to be drawn to the building's warmth and was deemed to be a danger by the police cheif.
Early attempts to lure the monster off with waxworms proved unfruitfull, and it was regretably decided to utilize force. The military was called, and they replied with a full wing of bombers, which attempted to attack the giagantic gecko. Unfortunatly, the gecko decided that the planes acted a lot like flies, and had soon eaten over half the force.
Local resident Mary Moorworth had this to say: "I tell ya, it's dat govoormunt that dun this!" "If they would stop follin' around with dat toxic waste and chattin' with dem aliens that dere stole mah cows, we wouldn't have dis problem!" Whether or not the gecko was the result of a nuclear accident has been unproven though, because soon after eating the planes, the creature disapeared. Some say they saw it slinking off into the subway, but so far no one has ventured off to explore the maze of tunnels under the city.
We here at the True Times Gazette urge all residents of New York city to stay inside your homes today, and whatever you do, try not to act like a mealworm. We will continue to try and discover more information on this menace to society.
