Had to laugh at that! I do appreciate you guys helping us newbies along. One day I hope to reciprocate by handling the newbie questions when I know more than I do now... BUT for now, as one of the resident newbies I'll let you know some of the things I would love to see in a FAQ - other then what's already been put forth:
A "growth chart" sort of thing - for those of you with kids, remember how you'd get that chart from the pediatrician every month when the baby was in for his/her check up? There was a median/'normal' line of growth graphed on there and then your child's progress was plotted along the graph as well. It was helpful even though most kids are not along that 'normal' line to see if the growth of your child was progressing along the same sort of path.
Something along the same lines as this has been suggested, but how about some enclosure pictures? Maybe a basic setup and a naturalistic setup? With dimensions? And a listing of everything needed to set it up? And the things you'll most likely want to help take care of your pet - a scale, temp gun, whatever...
The genetics thing mentioned was interesting, but I'm guessing also that it'll be WAY more complicated than can be covered in a FAQ - maybe somebody can offer a course? (I'm only half kidding here...)
Following my post a few threads down - what to look for when you get a Crestie? When we got ours we at least had enough general herp knowledge to help us see that some of the ones being offered for sale were not in good shape. Luckily we ran into Robbie Hamper whose animals seemed to be healthy.
A list of what 'normal' behavior is like.
How to convert your animal over to CGD, how often to feed crickets (if at all) and what to dust and/or gutload them with.
One other thing... I'm sure you guys are all aware that the most accessible places for people to get their hands on a reptile pet are also the most notoriously misinformed about how to care for them. Crested Geckos have many qualities that will appeal to people who normally wouldn't want to get involved with reptiles and as such the number of newbies even LESS informed than I is going to be growing exponentially. Sara and Randy, this FAQ list you are thinking of putting together can really help out. People who find it and this forum will be trying to do the best for their pet, and many will have discovered that the information given to them from the pet store will have been very wrong - they are going to want to question EVERYTHING. I don't know how much I can do to help, but let me know if there is anything I can do - maybe I can help newbie-proof it for you 
Just my 2 cents...
Toni
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1.0.0 Uromastyx - Draco
1.0.0 Ball Python - Vilthrul
1.2.0 Giant African Millipedes - Cocoa, Vanilla, Millie
1.0.0 Crested Gecko - Hoolie
0.0.1 Eastern Milk Snake - Slither
2.1.8 Hissing Cockroaches - Diamond, Emerald, Ruby and kids