Hi, long ramble!!!!
This may sound silly but I try to put myself in their place, try to imagine their mentality and make decisions based on that to make them comfortable. I put myself in their position, try to understand what they need and give it to them. Their bodies are designed for a specific type of environment, I try to meet their changing needs in regard to soil/groundcover heat humidity privacy exercise food and mental stimulation. I spend a lot of time near my monitors, usually focused on something else. If I don’t act interested in them, in time they become curious instead of scared.
This type of creature will disappoint someone looking for the traditional pet or “best friend”. Monitors don’t have the emotional/physical need to make friends with other creatures in the same way. My monitors will sit right next to me but very rarely want to be touched.
Every situation is different. Scooter has been with me almost 11 years. I am home during the day so I have been able to do things like share my apartment with him when he outgrew his enclosure. He tore up my furniture, but that could not be avoided under the circumstances. oh well. We lived on the beach and had huge windows everywhere. I like to read. We would hang out together and bask. He liked to stretch out on the couch in the sun. He has a drinking water source, but will gladly drink tasty bottled water from a cup, especially after eating. I treat him to his favorite foods whenever I can (crawdads, fertilized eggs, snails). Because he is large we can play some food related games that gives him some foraging entertainment. I fill his 6x4 foot tub with warm water. I get him outdoors when I can. I am patient and gentle, he tolerates me.
I have 3 tristis they are 7 years old, they are smallish like ackies. They like to watch me while hiding so I made it easy for them. I see them more often cause they can peek at me
I have sat with them in a reallyfastlittlelizard escape-proof space, basking light set up next to me, and read a book while they walk all over me and explore this squishy rock (me) in their territory. Tristis have razor claws! To avoid bleeding tuck all your clothes in very well! They don’t come out of their enclosure much, there is a lot of preparation to make it safe to do it so I don’t have to restrain them. My little ones do not like to be looked down on in their enclosure. If you can raise up or make a taller enclosure next time you might see it more often. I do have an enclosure on the ground. They use the highest point often. One of my tristis is very forward, never runs/hides when I enter the room, it always pounces on the food as soon as its offered. The other 2 still flee when I enter the room 2/3 of the time. They do eat while I am there, but not very often. They are and always have been very shy. (I would be too if I were as small!) When the room is dark they can’t see me because of the reflection of their basking spot on the glass, and I get to watch them run around sometimes. They keep all hours of the day and night.
So that’s my advice. Be kind, pretend you are not the dominant creature, and just maybe he will hang out with you.
-H-