From my 'cold war' archives ...
The Dog Fight
At the height of the arms race, the Americans and Russians finally realised that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the entire planet. So they sat down at a summit in Iceland and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. Each side would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world, and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world etc etc.
The Russians selected two of the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world, and they bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They took only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter to rebreed. After five years they managed to produce the biggest, meanest dog in the world. Its cage needed steel bars five inches thick, and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a NINE foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the mean Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leapt out of its cage and charged the American dachshund. But just as it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed the entire Russian dog. In one bite. Glumpf!
There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog. The Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in disbelief. "Vee don't understand how this could have happened. Vee had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."
"Hey that's nothing," one of the American replied, proud as punch. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
Any more out there?
