irst while i am not an expert i can tell you there are a few things wrong with your enclosure. My understanding is iguana's do not need the infrared heat along with the uva/uvb bulbs. If you have a bulb that puts out the uvb and heat, thats all you need. at night they need darkness to sleep.

I am also understanding that with a proper diet they do not need calcium supplements. Your diet needs to be changed for them. You should search the web for iguana diets. I believe one of the best sites for iguanas is this

http://www.anapsid.org/iguana/index.html

as for handling, again, it takes time and some animals take a like or dislike to a particular person for whatever reason they do. I am sure there will be some experts along who can give you more info but you should read everything you can from the site i gave you. just cut and paste it