Thats why I was worried about nursery-grown plants. Ah, nothing can ever be easy, huh?

I guess I will be investing in some containers and some seeds then! Should I grow the plants in just plain top soil? To be sure there is no perlite or anything of the sort in it? Will a terrible gardener like me be ABLE to grow plants in soil with no fertilizer? XD

Thanks again for your help :D
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My "Menagerie":
1.0 Red Eared Slider
1.1 Russian Tortoises (?sex)
2.0 Society Finches
0.0.5 Hermit Crabs
2.0 Dumbo Rats
1.0 Bearded Dragon
0.1 Pac Man Frog
2.0 Firebellied Toads
2.1 Cats
1.0 Boyfriend