Steed and Emma's diary: Our big comeback!
S&E: Hello, everyone! For those of you who have never met us, we are John Steed and Emma Peel, out of Dax and Song of Mia Pharaohs. We were born on May 10, 2002. After eight weeks growing up in the lap of luxury with Pam and Thom Haig, we went to live in our forever home with Lee and Mark Bridges in July 2010. As soon as we contacted them, when we were just a week old, we knew they were the ones for us.
Lee: And we had no idea what we were getting into.
S&E: Since then we have become prolific adventurers, writers, and ambassadors of Pharaoh-hood to the world at large. Our diary, posted here on the Pharaoh board, was poised to become an achievement of great literary importance.
Lee: It was poised to become a fun effort done in my spare time.
S&E: Unfortunately, due to the incredible laziness of our humans...
Lee: Who have this strange need to earn a living...
S&E: ...we have lacked for a transcriptionist for a few years. Many an adventure has been recorded faithfully, only to fail to see the light of public distribution!
Lee: What can I say - I get kind of lazy.
S&E: Finally we persuaded our Mom NOT to be such a perfectionist and just jot down our adventures as we go, that our extraordinary lives may be preserved and live on in legend!
Lee: They kept knocking the computer out of my lap.
S&E: So here, in our long-awaited comeback...
Lee: You guys have been living in Hollywood too long.
S&E: ...is the next installment of our exciting adventures! We begin with Emma's latest foray into keeping our humans on their toes.
Emma: I slipped a lower back disc while chasing a bird and collapsed in excruciating pain, forcing Mom and Dad to rush me to the vet for a full day of x-rays, emergency treatment, medication, IVs, and supervision. The good news is, all I need now is a couple of weeks of pain medication instead of surgery. It's Mom who needs treatment.
Lee: Twelve. Hundred. Dollars. Hold me!
Emma: Quit complaining. Dr. Walters is a highly competent, very kind vet with an intuitive understanding of Pharaoh Hounds and a distinguished grey mustache.
Lee: None of which inspired you to let him give you a hug.
Emma: I could tell he had ulterior motives. I did not achieve my royal status by being gullible. The good news is that after a few weeks of pampering, I am sure to be better than ever.
Lee: Lie down, your Majesty. We had to cancel our weekend getaway to your favorite beach.
Emma: WHAT??!!!
Steed: Mini-vacation canceled because my sister zigged when she should have zagged. Grrrr. No matter; I have achieved something much more important. I was personally scouted by a casting agent and selected for fame and fortune!
Lee: Except you wouldn't come when called.
Steed: The agent adored my extraordinary looks - I look just like my superstar brother, Callahan - and begged to place me in a commercial.
Lee: Except you wouldn't come when called.
Steed: Sadly, due to some trifling technicality involving Hollywood politics...
Lee: No, really, it was because you wouldn't come when called.
Steed: ...the role went to a Scottish Deerhound, proving that Westminster has altogether too corrupting an influence on casting.
Lee: Proving that Deerhounds have better manners.
S&E: Humph. Well, at least it didn't interfere with our routine. Every day we go for an hourlong course at the big park, followed by returning home for courtyard play time, followed by snuggle time, followed by our afternoon walkie through Hollywood's historic district, followed by treats, followed by nap time, followed by our evening walkie, followed by flashlight chasing time, followed by more treats, followed by chew toy time, followed by bedtime.
Lee: Any chance I can get my life back, Pam?
S&E: We are famous throughout the movie industry as glamorous representatives of Egyptian nobility. Buses full of tourists stop and take our pictures. We meet and greet visitors at the Graumann's Chinese Theater. Soon we expect to place our pawprints in cement.
Lee: Which has been known to happen regardless, depending on roadside construction schedules.
S&E: That is NOT what we meant. Anyway, you should consider yourself lucky that we are famous simply for our poise and elegance. Laurence Fishburne's German Shorthaired Pointer is famous because she keeps jumping his fence and running down the street with him in hot pursuit, yelling, "Maisie! Maisie! Come back!"
Lee: One thing we've learned here is that it's not Hollywood if you can't namedrop the neighbors.
S&E: That's true. Maisie is famous everywhere. We've never heard of her Dad.
Lee: Ah, Pharaoh Hounds. If you're not part of their canine universe, you simply don't exist.
S&E: We can all agree on that.
Further updates as events warrant.
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Lee, Mark, Steed, and Emma
Chaplin Court, Valentino's cottage
West Hollywood, California
