I'm a bit late in the game in replying... but I thought I'd give my two cents anyway. I have a girl tonk who is very very affectionate. She's a total love bug, will follow me all around the house, sleeps right next to me (often with me hugging her like a teddy bear), and lets me do anything to her (clip her nails, brush her...). I think the key is talking to your breeder and letting them know what you are looking for. I wanted a very affectionate cat, and my breeder pointed me to the kitten that she thought would fit the bill. I think male vs. female is highly subject to personal preference... I've always had girls. (My mom has a boy sphynx and a boy cornish rex, she adores them. Personally, they cement my love of my two girl kitties!)