"My biggest problem is that although the gradual approach has a bit more logic to it, the results I've heard have been much less hopeful. From what I have read, the gradual approach seems to produce sort of tame/tolerant animals, while the handling approach seems to produce dog tame monitors."

That's news to me (and everyone else I know that keeps monitors). My guess is that you're reading selectively. I'd normally suggest you share the sources of the alternative position so we could evaluate them, but in the end it comes down to this:

"I'm really torn on this and it would be nice to hear from both sides of the argument. "
= I'm going to keep asking the same question until someone gives me the answer I want to hear.

If everything you've read says one method produces 'tame' monitors and the other does not, why waste time talking to us - you should be handling the bejesus out of your monitor and then tell us how it works out for you if you still have it in a couple of years.

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