I'm no cat expert, but the way you explained how she lays in her bed with her ears back after the shower tells me she's actually terrified. You said she's a "new cat on probation." Do you know if this kitty was abused in any way? It almost sounds as if someone tried to drown her . It might be a good idea not to lock her in the bathroom while either of you take your shower. Maybe she feels trapped with no way out.

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