"And I know a kid down the street that breeds a whole bunch of lace monitors; he had to give them to the pet store in Lodi."

I know! They're like hamsters, right? Start off with a pair and the next thing you know you can't GIVE them away!

Then there's the one about that python that gets out of its enclosure every night to lie next to its keeper, measuring its length against the height of the keeper, until one night...