We lost Chris yesterday.
When I took him in for his recheck, the vet seemed very concerned so he kept Chris for hydration and lab work. I didn't hear anything so I closed up a few minutes early and went up to the vet. He showed me Chris' labwork which was just horrible. His BUN was over triple (indicating serious kidney problems), his creatnine was over double and his white cell count was about triple, indicating that a weeks' worth of antibiotics didn't help a bit.
I called Jim from the vet and we decided to let Chris go rather than take him home, go back into crisis, take him back to the vet and hydrate, home, and on and on and on.
I got to hold Chris and tell him how much I loved him, how essential he has been to my happiness for over 18 1/2 years, how much I'll miss him. He went very quietly and peacefully and I'm grateful for that.
We'll have him cremated and his ashes will go under the Beloved rose bush. SkuShi's ashes are beneath the Cherish rose bush and that is blooming like crazy........beautiful reminders of my baby girl.
Every time I think I've cried it all out, I start again. I went home and expected to see him on the bed and that made me fall apart. All the routine things; washing his dishes and getting new food and water, taking care of the catbox, brushing the cat hair off of the blanket, saying goodbye when I go to work....I'll need to let go of all of those habits and it just hurts so much.
I do have a recent picture of Chris and me that was taken for a special edition of the Sunday paper that featured "People and their Pets". I have Chris' darling face memorized along with so many other things about him, he'll be in my head and in my heart always.
I loved my Babykins so much, I'll miss him so much.

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